and so on...

"For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do--living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry."
--I Peter 4:3


A few months had gone by and work seemed to be going great. Oh, except for those few days when I had to pretend like I was sick while the pill guys were going to pick up the next shipment. The next Christmas break came around and I learned that one of my dealers had overdosed. My very thought was "oh crap, I hope this doesn't affect MY ability to get the pills". And for me, life went on and I continued to use the other 2 guys to get my fix weekly.


A couple of months went by and then the big Xanax drought hit and it was hell on earth. I spent 7 straight days on my parents couch with what they had to think was the worst "stomach virus" in the history of mankind. After a week on the couch I was laying there one of those sleepless nights with sweat dripping from my body when I received a random text message from a friend of mine whom I hadn't spoken with in a couple of years and he asked me if I wanted some pain medicine, Hydrocodone to be exact. Not even worrying about how he got my number, my thoughts were that I would just take a few to get over this deathly headache and then I would be drug-free and could move on with my life without having to rely on a pill.


So I got the pain meds and, although I didn't know it at the time was just replacing one demon with another. I fell in love with pain medicine and before too long it was all I could think about. All of this happened in the first few months of 2008. Before long I was up on my feet and feeling better from my 2 week 'stomach virus'. Back to work and back to taking my pills. 


Although I had somewhat gotten over my dependence on the Xanax, something still wasn't all the way right and I began to have what I thought were really bad panic attacks and my anxiety was terrible. Little did I know that was just called life. I just had to go to a mental health doctor. So about March of 2008 Meagan took me to my first appointment. I already knew what to say in order to get the prescription that I wanted. I had 2 cousins that were experts at that game. So that day I was prescribed to my very own Xanax-like medication and on top of the pain meds that I was getting of the streets I was back on top again, feeling great. 


...