Friday, January 13, 2012

The next year or so...

"Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.  For everything in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--comes not from the Father, but from the world.  The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." 
--I John 2:15-17


We were out at one particular bar that we seemed to frequent more than the others and one of my buddies, who at the time played collegiate football, wanted to go say hey to a few of his teammates right across the street. So as me and the other 2 guys were standing by the door waiting on him I noticed this good looking blonde-headed girl running up to say hi. I was the only one who knew who Meagan was and as we were leaving I asked her and her friends to join us the rest of the night. 


So for the rest of that Christmas break Meagan and I hung out pretty much every night. Then it was time to go back to finish what would be my last semester in Russellville. At the time Meagan was teaching in Little Rock and only had to be there 3 days a week. On the days that she didn't have to be at School she made the hour drive to come and stay with me. Nothing about the way I was living had changed, I just had to be a bit more sneaky about it. Well, a bit more sneaky about the pills that is. I still drank every day and smoked pot just about every day as well. I was not wasted all the day long however, most days I functioned just fine, other than being a bit talkative and mostly annoying to my roommates and the other guys that hung out at my house.


For the rest of that semester every week seemed to be about the same. Meagan never missed an opportunity to come see me. For the longest I wondered why she kept coming around. Don't get me wrong we had a blast but I always had a beer in my hand and at some point during the day a joint in my mouth. Not to mention the pills I took all day everyday, which I was still getting just about every weekend from my cousin's 'friends'. Although I asked Meagan from time to time if she wanted to smoke with me or if she wanted to get drunk she never really gave in, even though she didn't seem to mind me doing it... at least for the time being.


That summer I got my first real job with an outdoor advertising company and I loved it immediately. It worked out so well that it turned in to a full-time job and I transferred my college credits to Little Rock, and that is where I would eventually earn my degree. Also I got a letter at the beginning of the summer from Arkansas Tech that basically said if I didn't take the maximum load of classes both Summer Terms and make all A's then I could NOT return. Knowing all of that it didn't make my decision to transfer difficult at all. 


As I started my new school along with my new job things seemed to be going great. I had a girl that loved me no matter what I seemed to do, whether it be good or bad. I had a great job making pretty good money and I was off to a fresh start with school. Also along with that good money came my supply of pills that I needed to keep on truckin'. 


...


As we share our story, we decided we would each post our own version of what was really going on during the time frames we are talking about.  


I had always known who Todd McGuire was.  When I was in high school and some in college, I was a lifeguard during the summer at a golf club in our hometown.  During that time, Todd was a "junior golfer."  I always thought of him as "Todd McGuire, the cute little golfer."  Todd is three years younger than me therefore, I never thought anything about dating him.  For some reason, during college, I randomly contacted him on Facebook and told him we needed to hang out sometime when he visited Fayetteville (where I attended college).  Well, after saying he would, he never contacted me.  I kind of forgot about the whole thing until, one night, I was out with a bunch of my friends. 


I turned around and saw Todd standing at the door with a couple of his friends.  I was shocked to see him, one because I knew he wasn't old enough to be in a bar and two, because I had just contacted him on Facebook a couple of months before (after not seeing him for several years).  After chatting a few minutes, he asked me to hang out with him and his friends for the rest of the night.  This night started a whirlwind of a month and little did I know, a whirlwind of the next several years of my life.  


I loved hanging out with Todd.  When I was with him, I didn't really worry about anything I was doing or what kind of effects it could have on my life much less what he was doing. I just wanted to have fun.  Looking back, I realize that our relationship did not start out with the right focus.  Boy, did we ever have the WRONG focus.  


During the first few months of us dating, I could tell that Todd was drinking and smoking quite a bit, but I didn't really care.  He was giving me attention and he really liked me.  I even joined in on the drinking.  We were having fun.  We were living it up.  Then, one day, I just quit.  I didn't want a part of it anymore.  Todd didn't understand why I didn't want to join in and it really put a strain on our relationship.  He still wanted to go hang out at bars and with his friends that were drinking, and I didn't.  I didn't understand why it was so important for him to continue.  Remember, this whole time, I still didn't know Todd was addicted to prescription medication.  If I would have known (or chose to know), I don't know if it would have made a difference.  Everything happens for a reason.  I believe that God protected me through this time and kept me naive to the things Todd was doing.  Who knows what could or would have happened had I known everything.  I could have been in the same position Todd got into or Todd and I could have not ended up together.  I say all this to say, our marriage has a purpose.  Everything God creates is intentional. Our marriage is intentional.  



No comments:

Post a Comment